最近挺忙的。在过两个星期以后就要系列考试了（每个系列是8到9个星期，没有期末考试）。 这几个星期有了一些串不起来的想法，就随便说说吧。

      学的越多知道的越少。老师演讲免疫系统时同学有多不明白的范围，比如说免疫球蛋白D是干什么的？为什么艾兹病能杀死那么多CD4 T细胞（免疫系统的指挥官），虽然细胞感染%很低？同学们问因为好奇，而切明白以后记就容易了。但老师们经常说“不知道”，或者“你不需要知道，负责复杂了我们也不太清楚，在这个领域里今天的知识明天可能就废了”。快到头了。 终于快学到极端了，在往下学就不能看课本，而是读报告了。知识从像大山那样的坚实和牢固变成了像河流那样的活动和百变。老师也在次提醒我们干这行的要学习一辈子。起码现在看House M.D. 比以前更懂里面的医学了。

      最近经常和几位同学们一起复习。上完课以后就马上一起复习老师讲的东西。大家一起讨论主要的概念，这样以后个人背记时就容易多了。更重要的和同学们一起使学习不那么枯燥，费劲，反而成了一种活动。其他光个人复习的同学更有反感，容易疲劳。我自己复习时很容易看时钟，想：啊，才过了20分钟。。。已经有点累了。假如没有同学们互相支持和鼓励医学院就会变得非常痛苦。看到朋友们有同样的烦恼，对吞下海量知识的恐惧使自己感到安慰和团结。大家一起面对难题，不感到孤独。大家的友谊很像战场上炼出来的感觉。

     上大学时人人都问你的系是什么。医学院里人都问你的科是什么。就像刚进大学时你口上讲的只是个初期的猜策，心没个底。当然人人都在想。我个人（像N多位同班同学）已经去了外科，儿科，内科的学生组织会议，希望得到方向。 考完试以后就要习惯抽出点时间去个科去转转，找找未来。不过人生有时也会给你意外的启发。。。
前几天晚上在同学公园party时有位黑人同学把2岁孩子带来了。孩子装小狗不断的在地上爬，钻人群，招人喜欢。有些同学用大人对小孩的态度让他去表演，去说大人想让他说的话，他到不太理睬。  我见到他就蹲下来和他有平衡的视野。以后就不知不觉的跟他一起装大狗小狗玩，爬来爬去。因为不用膝盖（怕脏衣服）所以从远看很像对猩猩，只不过有汪汪的叫声。我们两不多说好，就汪汪叫。孩子虽然是第一次见，但他很快就跟我很亲切了。他害怕黑暗时就躲在我身后，爬累了就靠着我的胸怀休息。我们两的默契是很明显的。见到别人孩子就说他是小狗，我是爸爸狗。其他同学看着我们也微笑，觉得挺可爱的。跟他一起装狗我自己没有一点害臊，反而有很大的乐趣。那小孩儿真是可爱，我感到了他的天真，善良和童心。等他终于玩够了时他伸出手来。我很自然的抱着他往妈妈那里走。他紧紧的抱着我，悄悄的对我说“你抱我就像我爸爸抱我一样。。。” 就这样我慢慢的带他往回走，他的头轻轻靠着我的肩膀，心里不断想跟孩子能有那么大的乐趣以为着什么 。。。

          也许儿科就是我的缘分吧。跟孩子在一起的时候我就想用自己所有的能力保护他，让他能健康成长。孩子总是最有潜力，最无辜的。虽然儿科是薪水最低，工作很辛苦，但假如我能在行业里找到那孩子给我带来的同样的乐趣，那辛苦点也值得。当然儿科大夫要面对家长（有时候非常不讲理），不会做有复杂的手术或有意思的病例（每天的病就是感冒，咳嗽）。而且我对孩子的感觉可能只是我能做父亲的潜力，而不是当儿科大夫的启发。慢慢来吧，不管怎么样，那次经历让我产生了不少的反想和思考。

上星期四我参与了第一个模拟病人面谈。病人是聘来的演员扮演的。小组8位同学和两位老师坐在旁边观察我。我和老师在任何时间都可以叫暂停。虽然没有成绩打分但还是有点紧张，非常兴奋。我觉得自己一定要达到目标，充分体现我的面谈能力。这种积极性是我的优点但也带来了麻烦。。。

病人是位35岁的女士，今天来是因为头疼。我的目标是了解她的病情，背景，和建立友好关系，不必诊断或检查身体（那是下学期的课）。

“罗女士您好，我叫王晓奔，您请坐，请问您今天为什么来看病？”

“我头疼”

接下来的5分钟，我按照课本里教的问了：疼痛的详细位置，愈发时间，次数，疼痛的感觉，深度。她说话时声音不大，总是低头，有点沮丧。一切在我的眼里都顺利，我问他说，他说我点头，但在问她疼痛来源时出了新线索：

“我的头痛是3个月以前开始的，那时我的小儿子老生病，医生说是哮喘，后来说是肺炎。但上星期终于告诉我是胰腺囊性纤维化（一种遗传病，人身体对盐和水的分泌失控，最好的情况也只能活到30岁）医生还说他可能活不了多久了。。。”这时她开始轻轻的啼哭，眼泪不断留下。

一个表面上很平凡的头疼病例突然转变成一个感性上复杂的情况。当时我和老师不约而同的喊出 “暂停！”

“Ben， 你现在问的很好，但是点头太多了，给我一种紧张的感觉，不要太兴奋。记住病人第一，不要老想下一个问题怎么问，现在不需要用问题引导病人。集中精神听病人所讲的，然后凭你的心灵想知道的去问就行了。你能对付这位女士的感情吗？”

“我因该可以。老师，那现在是问她孩子的问题还是回到头疼的问题？我个人认为既然罗女士现在更重视她孩子的事那咱们就先谈谈她儿子吧”

“说的有道理，请继续吧”

我松了口气，暂时忘记了课本上教的规矩，忘记了想证明自己能力的意念，把精力放在罗女士的问题上。

“罗女士，您能讲一讲孩子得病以后的感受吗？”

“我很害怕，孩子能活多久都不知道，家里也比较困难，很忙，我真的不知道该怎么办。。。”

“有得重病的孩子应该是非常不好受的，尤其是母亲，您真不容易啊”

我继续问她对孩子病情的感受，家里和她个人的情况。罗女士慢慢的透露她的情况，她家丈夫白天工作所以她必须照顾3个孩子。她另一个担忧是她已经怀孕了10个星期，不知道这个遗传病会不会影响她的胎儿。当时我的双眼一直锁在罗女士上，坐的身体靠前，慢慢的点头，没有打断她说话，让她感到我的同情和温和。她也好像冷静下来，说话更稳定。老师下次暂停时给我鼓掌，说我大有进步，像是变了个人似的。很重视病人，按照病人的节奏反映。2分钟以后我们按照计划换了下一位同学继续面谈，我退回到同学和老师们所在的桌椅。

虽然只是20分钟的面谈，在离同学们不到1米的距离，但我面谈时好像进入了另一个世界。那里只有我和病人。大家的都知道病人是演员扮的，但在这个世界里她所说的就是真的病情，她的感情没有虚伪，我对她的关怀和责任是真实的，而且我有无限的时间和精神来面对她。我好像是块海绵，吸收了病人的痛苦和烦恼。 面谈完了以后我突然感到疲劳，需要消化刚刚发生的一切。回到同学旁边以后我回到以前的世界，感觉真是穿界似的。心里很满足，也可以设想以后在这行里长期干下去。。。

被点名了，既然是好友就答吧。

1. 提问：如果来世有选择的话，你是想做女人还是男人还是别的什么的？
答：还是男人吧。越对月经和生孩子有了解就越不想亲自经历。  

9. 提问：你会为了一个不确定的未来放弃你现在拥有的一切吗？
答：可能有一天会面对这种情况吧。

10.提问：你认为你发生婚外情的几率有多大？
答：我是会被老婆欺负的人，所以不会欺负她的。

11. 提问：你还相信爱情吗？
答：像我这年龄的人谁不信啊？！

12. 提问：经历的最浪漫的事？
答：有一次在肯德基买了50元的吃的，人家送了我一盒牙膏。

16. 提问：你打算给你儿子起什么名字？？ 女儿呢？？？
答：儿：王柏蔡， 女：王鸿暑

17. 提问：对“家”，自己的家，有什么想法？
答：父母都回北京了，以后假期就方便多了（省得北京，学校，南加州三个点来回转）。。。我什么时候能回家呢？

昨晚差点喝醉了。邻居开了个party，N多人来一起喝酒，聊天，寻找未来的老伴儿。有医学院的，博士生的，法学院。好不容易从课堂的压力暂时解脱一下。大家谈什么的都有，就是没有谈复习方案的，估计要有的早就被轰出去了，哈哈。没到11点就有不少人醉了。我也借此机会跟同学们聊天坛地，但没有看到未来的老伴，下次吧！

这星期课程主要集中在胚胎发育过程。什么外胎层变成神经系统啊， 蛋白激酶A如何磷酸化其他蛋白质因此改变那个基因 转录和转译，学的眼花料环的。虽然有事学的很抽象，但老师经常利用病例来显示生物科学对老百姓的影响。给我最深印象的是胚胎发育过程时出现的意外。  基因上的问题大部分时候都会造成胎儿早期死亡，孕妇错误认为是正常月经，少数能更长发展的也不幸运。老师显实不少让一般人觉得恶心的照片。小小的胎儿的 神经褶没有结合，另一个生下来得孩子的两只腿融化为一，头上长了比身体还大的肿瘤，还有脸部像是被殴打的先天缺陷。当时没时间思考，只是拼命的写笔记。要说残点，每一张照片里都是没有发展的未来，没能成长的孩子，没能让母亲高兴的婴儿。医学界里没有为什么，只有怎么形成，和无法治本的缓解计划。现在对于先天缺陷有些了解，但没有任何治病的方案。更难接受的是母亲因怀孕期间饮酒或抽烟而造成的婴儿畸形。 也不知道是无知还是对烟酒上瘾了，同学们都感到了烦恼。最难接受的是大部分先天缺陷的病因还未锁定，说白了就是不知道。“不知道”可能是医生最痛恨的三个字吧。它代表了医生的无能，科学的限制，和增加病人痛苦的来源。当医生的要接受医学的限制，病人的愚蠢，和大自然的残酷。因为被这些现实而压倒的人就会错过帮助下一位病人的机会，错过发展研究的时间，和生活带来得美好。

可能刚才说的也是大家猛party的原因之一吧。痛快的放松一下，临时忘记学到知识带来的疑问， 这样明天能更好集中精神学习。有些人为事业而学，有些人为财富而学，有些人为病人而学，有些人为知识探索而学。医学院真不单纯。

       开学一星期了。

       堆成小山的资料，课程和复习本带来的不良预感已经开始消弱上星期天穿上白卦的兴奋。我本来知道要学的医学知识量很大，但现在开始亲自体会到了。

       这几天上午是两小时的老师演讲基因道理和遗传病，下午分成小组继续了解染色体能产生的病情。  看起来不比高中或大学忙，但是老师演讲里的信息量很大，生词也不解释，所以回家以后必须夜里点烛灯的复习。 但也不能完成按老师的意思去学，根本没时间读所有的课本，只能挑重点。总的来说学的很有意思，因为心里明白所有学的病因都在影响老百姓的生活。学一样东西就能多帮助病人一点。

        虽然每天晚上必须坚持，但也能睡上7-8个小时。这不是贪懒，只是睡不够第二天就听不懂课了。学累了就出去跑步，让脑子放松。 去了健身房，跟同学一起爬假山挺好玩的（在美国非常有技巧的体育）。

        昨天下午老师给我们上了第一堂“医生与病人”。老师主要讲了最基本的如何面试病人，和病人沟通，让病人感到关怀，让病人发泄自己的烦恼。  老师利用一位演员来模拟好的临床行为。我看到老师各种各样的细节，像她坐的公开方式，讲话时有温柔又有中立的态度，让病人讲诉自己的故事但也引导他的答案。 这些细节让我感到临床行为是多么深的学问啊。医生的每一个动作，每一个问题，每一个眼神都在影响病人与医生之间的信赖和沟通。 看到这一点，我悟道这几天来不断的学科学知识时的思维和医生临床行为有多么大的差距，但在位好医生里也多么不可分开。干这行的真是综合了科学与艺术。

blog转回中文！这样让我的朋友们了解我在医学院成为一位医生的过程。

这一星期主要是认识新同学，新老师，新环境。  从6250人面试了760人，筛到了140多位，大部分都来自加州。 大部分本科生都学了生物和其他的理科，但也有历史系，哲学，英文，文化学。 大家都很友好，可能因为每个人知道能到这里学医是多么的不易，自己有多么的幸运。

第一天主任给我们介绍学校时不断的说笑话，列如“是不是你们刚被录取时就有人问你复杂的医学问题，你假装听但心里啥都不懂吧？”。  主任还不断的提醒我们要出不要过分学习，要出去玩，放松，锻炼身体。有事就找他，他的呼叫机24小时都在开着。他也很严肃的告诉我们当医生一定要真诚的对待别人，不要忘记自己，病人都是人，都能感到痛苦和幸福。

昨天老师们带全班带道大厅里, 在家人和朋友面前把每一位学生叫上舞台，给我们穿白卦。然后主任带领我们为保护病人，真诚待人，互相帮助，领导社会，宣传医学和科学界最高尚的传统而宣誓，使我们进入了医学界，成为做好医生的苗芽。

1. after getting tricked(ok I volunteered) into doing translation stuff for PKU by Ma Lan, I get really frustrated by chinglish...yes how ironic...
-People need to put space bars on their translations ex: tianyuanunsterilityhospital.
-"Grand Open"? add the "ing"!
-From the bus radio "our next stop is ____, please get off" uhh, what if that's not my stop?

2. Americans don't know much about China. Chinese people think they know a lot about America, but they actually don't.

3. the traffic here is murder.

4. Who said good manners has died? I still see young people giving up seats on the bus and subway to elders and children.

5. Customer service has seriously improved in some places. I don't get the feeling like customers are pleading with the stores.

6. Beijing parks in the rain is quite beautiful, also there's few people there you can really enjoy them.

7. I admit I have eaten a lot of McDonald's and KFC while here, but so has half the people in this city, so I don't feel unpatriotic.

8. On an ad for ice cream I saw a girl wear a shirt that says "Abercrombie & Titch". They should pay the model more money so she can buy some real clothe.

9. Thanks to a few friends and Frasier, I cringe every time I see black pants + black leather shoes + white socks, which is a lot.
-speaking of which, I think Chinese people have a fear of shoelaces on leather, because all the black leather shoes are the same pointy loafers. It's been like this for years...someone has got to break the mold.

10. I don't think I can ever be satisfied with Chinese food in America again...

11. There are places in Beijing where it looks like they recreated parts of Hong Kong.

12. A short TV commercial played consecutively three times in a row really vex me.  Remember that "Head-On" commercial back in the states?

13. I find it strange on how product ads with celebrities, they have to say " ________,  world famous actor/celebrity, _____ spokesperson".  So if they are "world famous" why do you need to tell me that or even mention their name?

14. http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2069831&l=a9041&id=201161

Since Karen  called me out on this, I should answer her chain mail  survey.   But for everyone's convenience, I'll do it in both English and Chinese

1、你最爱（或最喜欢）的人是谁？（除了父母兄弟姐妹）

     Who do you love the most(or like the most)? (besides family members) 

      擎天柱; 问出无聊的问题，就会得到无聊的答案

      Optimus Prime; ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

2、男生达到什么程度才算男人？

     When does a man becomes a Man?

     能有勇气按照他在幼儿园学到的真理去做人。

     When he's brave enough to live by the principles he learned in kindergarten.       

3、你预计会经过多少段感情才会走向婚姻？

     How many relationships do you predict you will go through before marriage?

     4.5

     4.5

4、如果我给你一百万美元让你开一个公司，你要开什么公司？

     If I give you one million dollars to start a company, what kind of company would you create?

     哈哈，太麻烦了，直接捐给Quest Scholars 就行了。

     Haha, too much work,  I'll just directly donate it to the Quest Scholars Program. 

5. Karen的问题：这辈子做到什么份儿上就觉得死而无憾了？

    Karen's Question: What do you need to do to feel like your life can end without regret?

    等我真努力试试回国用自己的本事为老百姓做点事。

     When I really tried to go back to China and use my ability to do something for the people. 

6. 我的问题：   如果有一天随你所意的时间（8点到24点），你会做什么？写出你的时间表。地点和财政和现在一样。

    My question:  if you had a free day to yourself(8am to 12am), what would you do?  Write out your time schedule.  Same location and financial situation as you are now. 

点名(next in line)：Paul, 硕，Phoebe, Francis, Karen（回答你和我的问题），Terrience(看，有人点你吧），Andy, Xin, Nate, Guson, Steven, Jonathan, Karen P.

Continuing on my ramble on KSM.

The comment about McDonald's attraction towards Children is an excellent point. I think this contributed to a lot of McDonald's early success as kids begged their parents to take them there. However McDonald's is not Chucke Cheese's, so if you walk into a McDonald's today, you will notice besides kids and their parents there are lot of young people in their teens and 20's. I think marketing plays a big, big part here. When McDonald's first came on the scenes in the 90's there were no commercials about it. Today the company really pushes for an image of youth and energy. You know...those pictures of attractive young people eating KFC or McDonald's and having a good time. Pretty much the standard mode for almost any food/beverage/alcohol/tobacco product. The whole image of McDonald's and KFC as a fun, cool experience.   To maintain this image through out every McDonald's and KFC across the globe is quite an achievement.  Key standards in corporate image, food taste/quality and management helps M & K stay a step ahead of any Chinese competition.

I heard a story about how back in the late 90's there was a Chinese chicken fast food restaurant that started competing with KFC in Beijing.  The store did well in the initial rounds of direct competition, quickly drawing crowds of people away from KFC.  Seizing this advantage and new name recognition, the store expanded their franchise to other cities.  However, as the number of stores increased, their product began to lose consistency in quality.  Customers felt the chicken tasted different each time they went and depending on which store they went.  Soon the store's name in quality waned and the bottom fell out. 

I think this story highlights some differences between American business and Chinese business.  Chinese stores often don't realize how hard important and difficult it is to maintain a consistent quality in supply lines.  The taste of chicken depends on many factors: the type of chicken, what it eats, how much exercise it gets, the type of water it drinks, how the meat is processed, what time of the year the meat is processed, how the meat is transported, the oil it's cooled with....the list goes on.  All of these factors are highly variable depending on locality.  To make a piece of chicken taste equally good in New York and in Beijing 365 days of the year is a much more difficult task than many people realize.  Same goes for hamburgers and coffee.  A lot of Chinese restaurants with a great history and strong local brand recognition struggle to expand outside the city borders.  I had Peking duck in America, but it just doesn't taste as good as when I eat it in Beijing.  This is where management and supply chain logistics becomes crucial.  KSM all do such a good job at this, much better than most Chinese companies.  To create the same corporate culture, store environment, food quality across different countries, and communicating a sense of fun beyond the food is something Chinese companies have to do in order to compete with KSM. 

Starbucks looks like McDonald's and KFC 5-10 years ago but growing at a much faster pace.  Chinese people usually don't drink coffee at home so I was quite surprised at how fast Starbucks has been growing in Beijing.  The price for Starbucks is almost a direct conversion from its US stores, so very expensive for most Chinese.  Starbucks currently remain a luxury for the upper-middle class, white-collar urbanites.  I am curious to see what happens with Starbucks in the next 5 to 10 years.  It appeals to a more mature and elite class of Chinese people than KFC or McDonald's.  Starbucks' long term success may become a good sign of how well the wealthy urbanites in China are doing.


Trojan Man, Avis, Lenscrafter's, Renu, Motel 6, Best Western, American Standard(if you don't know what this is, look down next time you go to the restroom), Crest, Colgate, Head & Shoulders.  All of these brands represent basic everyday products that are not very high tech nor culturally unique.  The market has already been flooded with local Chinese brands that make the same type of product.  Yet these American brands have been able to find their way into the Chinese market, as I personally witnessed in supermarkets and on bus rides.  KSM are products with an American signature, however, I feel condoms and toothpaste can't that culturally unique.  So why are American brands beating Chinese ones?  Here I think we can apply similar themes from KSM of management, product standardization, customer service and brand marketing.  American products aren't always superior in quality, just perceived as, but that perception can often be the the key difference in the market place. 

Got sick again the past few weeks.  I think this is the first time I got sick twice in one year since like middle school.  China never stop surprising me. 

For the past few weeks(besides the sickness) I mostly spent it with relatives and childhood friends.   I also have been going to Peking University(they call it the Harvard of China) to sit in on some classes.  More on those experiences later.  This time I want to share my analysis on the rapid rise of KSM(KFC, Starbucks and McDonalds) in China during the past 15 years. 

I think the KSM story can reflect about present Chinese society and American success in China.  If you walk on any major streets in Beijing, you will find a KSM almost every mile, in many places half a mile.  They are always crowds in there.  Back in 2004 I made an effort not to eat KFC or McDonald's in China because I deemed it to be "Foreign Food" and not part of the "real" China.  However, like most urbanites in China, I relented and joined the crowds gathered under the Golden Arch.  I didn't feel guilty, because I realized KSM is part of China now.  KSM's popularity is not a temporary trend nor a fluke.  They have successfully embedded themselves into the everyday lives of Chinese urbanites(both rich and poor).  KSM's presence is so in-your-face here in Beijing that I couldn't help but think about it.  I'm not going to put any reference here because this is purely based on my personal experience, so take it with a glob of salt. 

McDonald's-  The Golden Arch probably has a higher recognition rate around the globe than KFC or Starbucks so I will start with this one.  I think it made its first big splash before I left China in 92.  Back then I heard there was only one store near Tienanmen.  It was two-story store and packed with people all the time.  People took to it surprisingly quick considering 1. the no.1 meat in China is pork, not beef 2. Cheese was and remains a strange food 3. drinking ice cold coke while eating oily food is a traditional Chinese dining no-no.  The kids kept on coming, and they brought their parents.  A "if you build it, they will come" thing happened.  McDonald's opened more stores, but the per store customer # didn't seem to drop, so they opened more stores, and more people came.  McDonald's in China is definitely not the cheap, fast food most American sees it as.

                The price for a Big Mac meal at McDonalds is about 20-25 RMB(equal to 3-4 dollars).  Back in the early 90's this price was quite high for the average Chinese person, similar to a $20 hamburger in the US(today it may be more like a $10 burger, still not cheap but acceptable).  I think this price hike happened because like many American brand products that come over to China, their status in society gets kicked up two notches.  Motel 6 and Detroit's Big Three autos got the same bump in social status.  People are willing to pay more for a cool American product.  However, if my memory is correct, this price actually has not changed much since the early 90's, if anything, it has dropped slightly.  This price drop occurred as McDonald's tried to market more towards the average urban resident.  It pushed for more smaller items that also cost less(ice cream cone for only 1 RMB or $0.15 cents).  I think this price change also occurred because McDonald's in the late 90's started to face stiff competition from KFC.

KFC's story is like McDonald's with its economic boom and transition from more of a rare luxury item to a product very accessible to most urban Chinese.  However, there are two major differences between KFC and McDonald's.  The first one is Chicken vs Beef.  The second one is KFC's decision to do a major change in its product delivery method(I'm making up marketing terms here).  I think KFC might have came to China before McDonald's.  Before I left China I had a taste of KFC, but back then the Chicken came in a box that you take home, very much like the model you see in American KFC's.  You're not suppose to eat the chicken at the KFC store, and they certainly didn't came with fries. 

          Somewhere in the 90's KFC decided to mimic McDonald's and setup stores as more of a dining area rather than a take-out.  When you walk in there are bright menus on the overhang in front of you, divided into square sections with big #'s so you can easily pick a personal meal you want.  Chicken sandwiches received greater emphasis over family packs or buckets.  Chicken sandwiches+fries & drink on a plastic tray became a main stay.  The stores had more seats and received a brighter decor.  With this major change, KFC's popularity soared, and now it has more stores in Beijing than McDonald's.  People tell me KFC beats McDonald's because chicken fits the Chinese diet more than beef+cheese.  I think KFC has also done a better job on their menu to cater to Chinese tastes.  On the menu there are egg tarts and rice soup, two items that are very Chinese and things I haven't seen in an American KFC.

          Ok blah, blah, blah, nice general analysis, but why is McDonald's and KFC so popular in China?  KFC's decision to go from take-out to dine-in reflects a major factor for McDonald's and KFC's success.  KFC realized Chinese people wanted to eat at the store because they liked the experience.  Most Chinese family homes is usually much smaller and more crowded than the American houses so it's not fun to bring the food back home.  McDonald's and KFC does an excellent job of creating a pleasant atmosphere with its bright decoration, clean floors, restroom that are mostly white tiled and cleaned hourly(which I think is a seriously underrated benefit, you'll know what I mean if you ever seen a Chinese public bathroom).  The design of the stores feel modern and hip, very much like how the first Ipod was so much more pleasant and fun than other MP3 players.  The customer service is very friendly(another underrated aspect, another you'll know what I mean if you visit thing).  If you visit KFC or McDonald's near a university, you'll see many students who are studying there after buying a small soda.  They study there because it's a nice place to be in. So when Chinese people go to KFC or McDonald's they like eating there, it's fun, it's pleasant.  You can push the same reasoning to why Pizza Hut is a dine-in restaurant(with similar status of Cheesecake Factory in America) and why they rarely deliver!

          Ok this is getting long.  Next time I'll talk more about management, marketing and why there's no Chinese KFC even though it's just chicken...

Been sick the past few days, but all better now.  This next part might sound a bit negative, but mostly fairly minor compared to the grand scheme of things. 

Man these things makes living in Beijing a pain at times:

1. Public transportation:  it takes an hour for me to get any where because the traffic and bus system is bad.  Bus rates are too low so I get crushed even during non-rush hour(I'm assuming higher bus rates lessen the crowd).  How bad is the crowd? I feel up to three to four people pressed up against me at times.  People get frustrated, shouting begins, people's ancestors and relatives get insulted.  The traffic is bad enough so a car wouldn't be much of an improvement. 

2. Olympic Madness:  imagine the publicity for the Superbowl two weeks before the event, except it happens EVERYDAY here with the Olympics in 2008.  They actually had a celebration when there was 500 days left.  Some public offices take a break and march around the park holding up flags(of their office group).  There was a celebration show with song dances and of course a countdown to 500 days before the start of the Games.  I see propaganda about the Olympics and how the citizens should act better everyday.  I see it on television, buses, parks, stores, toilets(that's the Chinese English translation for Public Restroom), restaurants.  I am fairly certain pretty soon they will replace Mao's portrait at Tienanmen with the Olympic logo soon and somehow add the Olympics into those little red books with Mao's teachings. 

3. Salespeople.  When I walked into the store at 2pm to buy a cell, 11(actually counted them) sales people all rushed up to me to ask if I need a cell phone.  I couldn't even avoid them.  I don't even know how the manager justify hiring all of them.  Almost every time I shop for something someone aggressively ask me what I want.  Apparently carefree browsing is culturally taboo.  I always feel pressured to choose or follow the salesperson's recommendation.  Come on lady, can't I shop for underwear without you chiming in with suggestions?  So what if I want the pink ones?  Don't stare at me like that!

4.  Smoking in public spaces.  This one is a biggie.  Over half of my restaurant experiences have been tainted by people smoking near me.  It's really a 180 compared to good ol' California.  The smell distracts you from your meal and gets in your clothe.  I'm always thinking: Dude, good job for shortening your life by 10 years...and mine by 5...

5. KSM = KFC, Starbucks, McDonald's.  This is a complicated subject matter that I need to a devote a separate entry on later.

 

Dad and I sleep in the same room. The phone is by his bed.

*ring*...*ring*

Me (bubble thought) What the F*ck, who calls this early in the morning? Someone needs to be sent for "reeducation"(means camp physical labor+party propaganda).

Dad: Hello? What? uh huh....ok...Ben, get up! It's your mom calling, You got into UCLA.

Me (bubble thought) what? whatever, sleep...important

3 seconds later...

Me: oh sh*t, what?! Give me phone!

The next two minutes were a blur between congratulations from parents, mom recalling her reaction and telling me about the scholarship.

I crawled back to bed after that, but pitched my cheeks several times before feeling ready for sleep again. I had dreams about this moment several times before, so I wasn't going to take any chances.

A part of me still doesn't believe I got into one of my top choices. Thanks to everyone who helped and supported me(which is a long, long list).


The attached photo shows all the overpriced stuff I am obligated to buy in order for my family to show off where the prodigal son is headed to become a doctor.  Thank god for that scholarship. 

Been distracted lately by the UCLA med school acceptance, but now I'm back on track.
Below are a few pics from the trip to southern China that I forgot to upload last time.
I know people are having a hard time commenting on the blog. I do appreciate them so e-mailing them to me would be fine.

I was riding the subway a few nights ago around 11pm. A middle age white man boarded near the east side of Tienanmen(this is quite common nowadays because a lot of expats live in the area). He's dressed in standard business suit and overcoat, carrying his bag, very corporate. He started passing out little strips of paper with Chinese writing on them to everyone around him. Now most of the time Chinese people throw away this stuff without looking, but since it's a foreigner doing it, it's worth a few seconds of reading.

The strip of paper describes a scene where a young, hard-working white collar races to catch the last light rail(which connects on the subway's terminal stop). Of course he misses, night after night. He ends up paying thousands for midnight taxis. This frustrates the hell out of him because he remembers when working in Shanghai and GuangZhou that the light rail runs past mid-night. He doesn't understand why public transportation department just extends the running time since so many share his need for late night public transport. The rest of the paper calls on the citizens of Beijing to call the public transport department and request the light rail running time to be extended. There's even a blog site for people to vent their frustrations and share their opinions.

As I looked up, many people nodded in their heads in agreement. A few even waved to this quirky fellow to show their support. He just told everyone in to tell their friends(in English, since many people have some basic comprehension of English). I got up and asked him about his story. He's a duke alumni teaching English in Beijing, been here for several years. He just got so damn tired of paying ridiculous amount of money to ride the taxi every night. Because he doesn't speak Chinese well, he had his student translate a script into these Chinese postings on the paper. He's been passing these strips of paper out for a year now(even showed me a newspaper clipping describe his grassroots efforts). No success yet, but he still hasn't given up. I wanted to stay and talk to him longer but the train came to my stop. I wished him luck and he padded me on the back as thanks.

I felt a good deal sense of shame as I walked up the stairway towards the surface. In a city of 12 million people(I think), it takes a foreigner to spot a very obvious problem and actually do something about it. His activism reminded me what I see regularly back in America when citizens take responsibility for their community, unite, and speak up. They want the government to hear their complaints and change so everyone in the community can be better served. Sure subway running time is a fairly minor problem, but the fact that this man is persistent in his efforts to raise awareness and actually tries to CHANGE the system separates him from the vast majority of Beijingers. He didn't push or yell, just try to get others to be aware of the problem. If they agree, why not use his website and peaceful methods to improve their city?

Dad tells me there are other stories like this one. A German who lives next to an old section of the Great Wall(there are many sections, though only two are tourist sites and well taken care off) gives 2 old Chinese farmers $100 a month to pick up trash around the Great Wall(since no one else seems to care). Another American man in a major southern Chinese city spends his free time walking behind people and pick up their litter. He shames them into not throwing trash and others have joined his cause.

Now there are Chinese citizens who are becoming more active as groups, trying to improve society. But their numbers are low and power is limited. I've heard scholars criticizing Chinese people having too much of a sheep mentality. They just accept whatever comes and never complains or do anything about it. Some say it's cultural, another speculate it's due to years of communist oppression. I'm sure people can spend their whole career on this debate. I was just touched by some dude from Tobacco Rd cares enough about my city(and his wallet) to make a stand. The stark contrast between his actions and other Chinese people's actions(or inactions) towards the same problem reminds me of how different ordinary things can be in China. It probably doesn't matter where he's from, I'm just glad someone is practicing good citizenship in my neighborhood.

I recently had a surreal one-week experience in Southern China. Dad and I flew down there on the 17th to visit Grandpa and Grandma at a nuclear power plant. Grandpa used to be the head of the nuclear energy department during the 60's during the atomic bomb project. Everyone in the department worship him, so we were very well taken care of. We stayed at the expat expert's village(a lot of French technicians work at the plant). Everything felt like a four star resort, with great rooms, good food, and a private beach that's a two minute walk from the villa we stayed at(first picture). There were two main things I witnessed while at the villa:

1. The Power of Capitalism

ShenZhen was a little sleepy fishing village 20 years ago, then Deng Xiao Peng made it a special economic zone and the GDP of this unknown town next to Hong Kong shot up like a rocket.
One day one of the managers of the expat villa invited our whole family(the Grands, Dad and me, my aunt) to a yacht club on the outskirts of Shen Zhen for a ride on a cruiser. This was a freaking nice boat. It fits 14 people, has two bedrooms, a living room, kitchen, bathroom and a second deck lounge. The interior was furnished with leather and hardwood. It even came with a plasma TV/DVD. I think few of the family have rarely seen something this nice on a boat. Hell, 20 years ago they probably rarely seen anything this nice in China at all.
I was surprised Grandpa and Grandma even went on the ride since he's 93 and she's 86. Grandma even climb the narrow ladder to get to the top deck. I guess if fighting the Japanese and enduring the Cultural Revolution probably did more for them than any gym ever could.
We made a short hour trip around the inland sea and came back in an hour. As we were leaving, Grandma saw a sign that rose her curiosity but completely slipped past my radar. "Private Dock, Please do not enter without an invitation". Grandma became fixated with the word "Private". The China she knows most rarely has anything that so boldly declares itself as private property, or use this concept of private property to keep out unwanted guests. She made it a point for us to stop and take a picture her with the sign.
A fishing village town to a major trade center with a yacht club full of private yachts. Even the Grands didn't see this one coming...

2. The Power of Communism(Chinese Communism)

One night after dinner, the VP of Plant Operations visited to pay his respects to Grandpa, the forerunner of all this. I got to sit back and listen to some interesting conversations. The VP described how as the head of the union(yeah that's right, an exec that's also head of the union, hey this is China) he often has to deal with workers complaints.
It's his job to educate them about the Party's guidelines(in China, to be a top manager of state-owned company you have to be a member of the party). He lectured them not to think about buying luxury cars or grand houses so early in their career. Conserve water and food is also part of the worker's duty. A few workers asked him why since the food and water aren't from the plant itself. He told them the food and water comes from the Motherland so everyone should live that way. At this point I felt a bit uneasy since this guy was clearly blurring the lines between a boss of the workplace to managing the someone's personal life style. Grandpa seemed very pleased with that the VP said and nodded his head every step along the way.
Guys like the VP used to visit Grandpa all the time when I was younger. I was never bothered by what they said to him. Living in America for so many years made me much more sensitive to any sort of strong concentrations of power without checks & balances and any intrusions into personal choice. So often in China I feel like I'm seeing or hearing the same things when I was younger, but how I perceive and judge these things have changed so much. Giant billboards on the street from the propaganda department telling people to be courteous and work towards a harmonious used not stand out in my mind. Now I can't walk by one without images of 1984's Big Brother.

Been busy lately. Since I got back to Beijing internet connection issues plagued me for several days. When I finally got it fixed, I had to make a trip to ShenZhen (southern China) to visit the Grandparents at a Nuclear Power Plant for a week(more on that next time). Now I am back in Beijing with stable internet connection for the long haul. Guess I'll need to back track a bit to nearly two weeks ago...

I became more and more excited as I realized I was back in Beijing when I got off the plane 5am local time(2pm Cali time so I was fully alert). To celebrate my return to the Mother Land I asked some white guy to take a picture of me entering Beijing. This Russian man didn't understand a single word of English coming out of my mouth. But luckily a few internationally recognized hand gesture with the camera did the trick.

Yes I had to do the peace sign. This is China, almost all of us do the peace sign in picture poses. I gave into my Fobby instincts, but no one cares since hey, this is China. Anyhow let's get to the title of this blog.

~~~~~~

As I passed calmly through customs I felt a slight sense of danger and excitement. Unbeknown to Big Brother or Big Mao, I had carefully folded a most recent copy of The Economist into my pack and carried it over. Hey, this is China, home of the Great Internet Firewall that keeps out BBC news or any website about June 4th. I felt pretty good about myself, feeling like I just brought a small piece of free press into the last great bastion of Communism and press censorship. I even started to read it in a public space!

After half an hour of flaunting around my piece of uncensored publication I realized I wasn't going attract a crowd of young Chinese intellectuals hungry for a glimpse of western media, nor are the secret police going to send me for "reducation"(basically a combo of hard physical labor and reading communist doctrines)

Hey, this is China of 2007 not 1977. The news may be censored, but news still travel around quite a bit through unconventional methods(blogs, text message[how the SARS news got out in 03], Chinese people from abroad, cat and mouse game of new website vs web censorship). People know about New York Times, The Economist and Wall Street Journal. They also know they can't read it as freely as people in America, but information trickles in. Feeling a bit disappointed, I put my Economist back in my pack and sat quietly along with other people waiting for my dad to arrive.

After I got home I realized how tiny my victory was. As I write this I have three other tabs open to main website of the Economist, CNN and NY Times. This access is not just a sign of the increasing openness of China but also a reason for me to feel less "foreign" back home. I can still visit most of the website I do so regularly back in America.

Change of Scenery...

Going back to China tomorrow night.

This blog will be my China Blog for all my friends to keep updated on my travels.

In a way I feel like I've been waiting for this trip for years now. Finally some quality time in Beijing without some preconceived purposes, classes, or structure. I can just be a sponge and soak up everything China has to offer before I begin a possible 10 year long journey to become a physician specialist (4 years med school+3 yr residency+3year sub specialty fellowship = $200,000 debt...I think all medical students have a trace of masochism in them).

It feels strange to say I'm from Beijing yet not know so much about it. Sure I know how to get to Tienanmen but if you ask me where the Olympic village will be I would look as lost as any other tourists. It's a bit embarrassing to pull out a map on the subway trying to figure out how to get to the zoo. I also can't tell if taxi drivers are cheating me by taking the longer road to jack up the fare. I want to change that.

On this trip I hope to experience what it would be like to live in China for a while(at least as best I can with only 3-4 months). By the end I want to be able to know all the major bus routes, where to eat, where not to eat, how to buy, where to have fun, how my family fits into all of this, and how China Ben and Expat Ben will get along.

Can the cab drivers still can't tell where I am from based on how I talk? How will my feelings towards Beijing will change as I see more of its blights. I wonder how many of my childhood friends I will see. How much English I will speak. Will I find a sports bar to watch some March Madness. How much running I will do.  How much I will miss Stanford and my friends back in the states.

I'm sure it will go by so fast. In a way I already feel sad that I have to leave during the summer to go to med school. I already miss China, how silly. I'm just going to enjoy my time.  Life is Good.

It's time to go home.

前几天收到一个e-mail说有人在MSN上加了我，而且说我是猪。哈哈，我想会是谁呢？ 但然是一位在中国的朋友。可是我并不知道是那位。可能性还不少。

是不是在斯担福中美学生论坛上认识的同学？ 也有可能育英小学找到了我的MSN。 我也好几久没有跟表哥表姐聊一聊了。不管事是谁， 当时我很好奇和兴奋。

过了几天以后我终于得到了答案。

他上了MSN， 我马上就追问他的身份。 他很隐蔽，非让我猜，还说假如我猜不出来他就是天下第一无敌人。刚才我想的可能性我都试了，但没有一个对。 他挺傲气的，说我的智商太低。 哈哈，我突然想起那个臭小子敢这样骂我了。原来是三牛啊。

我们两个3岁就认识了，都住在一个院里。快二十年了，一直是好友， 但我已经两年没有见到他了，也没有通话过。 没有想到会这样在沟通起来。 最近工作和医学院的事比较忙所以一直没想在北京的亲朋好友。 这次和三牛聊起来很舒爽。 出乎我的所料，和三牛聊天还像以前那样。 他还是那么贫嘴，我还是那么严肃， 感觉真好。 我发现自己还像以前一样跟他说点心里话，他还是像以前一样的关心我。 二十年了，有些事情还没有变。


三牛问我什么时候回大陆时我突然有了新的感受。连我都没有想到能从老友的用词猜出来他的身份。 看来我低估了我跟自己过去回忆的连接。我在美国有十三年了，但还常有时刻提醒我我是从那里来的。 和三牛聊天让我从新体会到长期冬眠的感情。

已经夜里2点了，我早上还要上班，但我没想下MSN。能和这样哥们谈谈给我的感觉实在是难得。 那天夜里我想起了小时候的美好时光，也盼望着未来的可能性。

考完了。  本科生的学业完成了。  这也是结束的开始.

 

 回家快一个星期了, 几乎每天都在写申请书.  还好Stephen(高中哥们儿)也在填, 经常交流,互相支持.  虽然很忙,但还有点时间回想斯担富的事...

 

毕业前晚上,我个人去了图书馆.  高中时我站在那图书馆里想,假如我能到此地上学那就如上天宫一样. 哈哈,四年以前的话是夸张了点.  Stanford虽然不是天宫但也给了我无数的机会.  我可以说Stanford没有限制我的成长.  四年过的真快.  一眨眼就过来了. 

 

那天晚上我的心酸了.  在过一天我就要变了.  Stanford还是那么美,它带来的机会还是那么多. 但我和它的关系变了.  我成了校友, 学校不能继续保护我,关爱我.  不过也该走了.  该被抛到社会里来挣扎挣扎了.   都是成长的一部分吧. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

不到一个月就要毕业了。 大家在这时刻一般会回想4年来的经历，也和其他的同学们好好享受最后的大学生活。 可我这几个星期来基本总是在想报医学院的事。 六月底就争取它把交上去。 7月分工作开始以前把所有的资料都交了。 然后就是等面试。

上医学院的人就是把20岁年代的青春交给了医学界。 有些同学会利用这时间到社会上去探索一下。 工作和未来的理想并不要一致。 各种事都试一下， 反正有时间吗， 不着急。

有时我想假如自己不当医生，不做科学研究，会作什么。 可能当老师吧。 本来就很喜欢孩子， 也爱显示自己少量的知识和听自己讲话。 也可能当个卫生部的干部吧。 不过当医生并不排除这俩个职业， 尤其第二个。

大厨， 我有时真想成为一位有名的厨师。 我很欣赏烹调的艺术。 作出好菜不易。 很多人加太多的盐或过度的酱，把原料的本味全压死了。 加料用道和化妆品差不多。 要少用， 用时的目标是提高本物的美和补助以在的强点。 太多的盐或化妆品结果一样，原物的特色没了， 就剩平凡的加料。

快完了， 真 的快完了， 很难意识这是真 的。有时想快点结束，早一点定义学院， 早一点回大陆。  有时也想多在这宝地留一段， 因为自己知道以后能找像这四年带来的机会，自由，和知识几乎是不可能的。 在这里笑过， 哭过， 留了血汗， 成功过， 失败过。  快该走了。我要离开Stanford了。 

 

哦，刚考完医学院的研考， Honors Thesis 星期五要交货，星期一又要考试了，还没开始写医学院的申请书呢，我病了， 流感。  真没办法。  等我病好以后再详细讲吧。